Who's In Control?

10/31/77

Sometimes people way

that they "aren't being themself"

Like what they've done and said

had a little help.

Some say there are spirits

who enter sometimes,

And take control

from within our minds.

Sometimes I will wpeak

and then look around,

Because I spoke without thought

and heard only the sound.

But I feel no presence of spirits,

I am neither prophet or preacher,

When I am not my self,

I am only my teacher.

Fools Gold

They pan for gold
led by rumor or knack,
Scooping and sifting,
dull rocks they throw back.
Gold in the Booby Rock?
Who would think that?
Hopeless romantic?
Or just crazy as a bat.
Lonely souls
Still believe in fairy tales,
We take their money
shaming justice's scales.
I see you see me
You think you see through,
Intrigued by the darkness
You dream of me and you.
I haven't been born
or I've already died
It exhausts me to wonder
why I have nothing inside.
I'll sparkle for a minute
but don't think you’ve seen my soul,
I  checked when I had hope
and found a wide, dark hole.
Shake away the sludge
and tip the water from your hat,
It's only fools gold
and badly damaged at that.

For Larry Wells 1979

Laugh

1977 for Jim

Laugh, Baby, laugh,

Yea, laugh for a while,

Laugh in my face,

Baby, just go wild.

Cuz I'll laugh with you

and at you, too,

Lover you don't know

but the joke's on you.

Laugh till you're dizzy,

Yea, laugh till you're stoned,

Until you hear the door slam,

and you're laughing all alone.

Damn You

1976 for Jim

Damn you, damn you,

Damn your eyes,

Damn all you do

from each sunrise.

Die, Baby, die,

just die from me

for every lie

and wrong you've done me.

I've had enough

of your boackened soul

Of your being rough

without control,

Over your mind,

Your body, your heart,

More I look more I find

I lost from the start.

Damn you, Damo you,

Damn your site,

You who damn all I do

and say I'm never right,

Die, Baby, Die,

Just die from me,

For every lie

and wrong you've done me.

Take your cold

and whoremaster ways,

That have quickly grown old

from to many days

and nights

spent damned by you,

With all you demand

within your touch.

Damn you, damn you,

Damn your life

In all you do

may you always know strife,

die, Baby, did,

just die from me

for every lie

and wrong you've done me.

End of first marriage to Jim...

Damn You

1976 for Jim

Damn you, damn you,

Damn your eyes,

Damn all you do

from each sunrise.

Die, Baby, die,

just die from me

for every lie

and wrong you've done me.

I've had enough

of your boackened soul

Of your being rough

without control,

Over your mind,

Your body, your heart,

More I look more I find

I lost from the start.

Damn you, Damn you,

Damn your site,

You who damn all I do

and say I'm never right,

Die, Baby, Die,

Just die from me,

For every lie

and wrong you've done me.

Take your cold

and whoremaster ways,

That have quickly grown old

from to many days

and nights

spent damned by you,

With all you demand

within your touch.

Damn you, damn you,

Damn your life

In all you do

may you always know strife,

die, Baby, did,

just die from me

for every lie

and wrong you've done me.

End of first marriage to Jim...

Prayer for Death

11/05/75

Tears well up

and spill from my eyes,

From too many lows

and too few highs.

Until I find myself

with a jolt of surprise.

Envying every

man who dies.

God, where are you?

Are you still there?

What makes my life

always seem so bare?

Please don't let me

live and cry,

If nothing else

please let me die.

Eat Me

Jim's will by Jim & Rhoda

Eat me, eat me.

yea, you're gonna eat me

Though I'm dead

life ain't gonna beat me,

Cuz when I die

I'm gonna get my rocks

being sold in hamburgers

at Jack in the Box.

And after I've rested

on my vulture feather pillow

I want a moseleum built

Shaped like an armadillo,

Too hold all of

my hamburger wrappings,

Well deserved

after all life's ass chappings.

Smoke me, smoke me,

Yea, you're gonna smoke me,

Though I can't toke you

you're gonna toke me.

Cuz when I die

I want my lungs

cut up and sold,

To be smoked by freaks

czarefully rolled,

So they can get high

off of what I've done,

So maybe they, too,

can touch the sun.

That's my last testament,

Yea, my last will

To make me one mother------

You won't wanna kill.